How to Make Your Self-Help Really Help

Ray was on a tear. “All that self-help stuff is okay, I guess, but it has never worked for me. Ever.” He was starting to get excited, waving his arms and pacing around. “In fact,” he went on, “it usually makes things worse for me.” I asked Ray for examples. “Well, like, I’m out of work — you know that, right? — and I’ve wasted the last two months trying to affirm myself a job.” He sat down, dejected. “Heck, it would have worked better if I’d just gone and seen about all the jobs in the classified ads or visited the employment agencies.” “You didn’t physically do anything to find a job?” I asked. “Well no,” he almost shouted. …

How I Conquered Fear And You Can Too!

We’ve all heard it, felt it, sensed it, experienced it and dealt with it in some way or another, it’s FEAR! You know … False Evidence Appearing Real!! The question is, how are you going to handle it now and forever? Getting out of your comfort zone for most is challenging, to say the least. It’s been my experience that the missing element is psychological. Too many times I’ve said to myself, “I don’t know HOW to do this” and self sabotaged my brain into believing I could not do it. What I’ve come to know is this; it’s not the “how” that is so important but rather the “why” behind it! Get a big enough WHY and the HOW …

Messy Love: Doesn’t Mean It’s Not Perfect For YouPick the Brain

Just because you’re in messy love, or imperfect, that doesn’t make it any less valid or real. A messy love can be beautiful, and certainly, pull you outside your comfort zones. When opposites attract, they can bring on a whole host of things you never experienced before. Messy love life can be filled with drama and conflict. However, it shouldn’t be confused for a toxic relationship. It’s just a regular relationship that functions with drama. Remember people are different and what works for you, doesn’t work for me. Come enjoy a peaceful, low-key relationship, while others thrive on drama and high needs. Nothing is perfect, but that doesn’t stop people from trying to achieve it. And in the world of …

5 of the Worst Pieces of Advice and How to Understand Them Better

Ever noticed how easy it is to offer advice? You go to Google, find an inspiring quote and share it with your struggling friend. Yes, it’s well-meaning help, but sometimes it does more harm than good.  In this post, we will dive deeper into some of the most popular pieces of advice out there that you should forget about. Without further ado, let’s separate the wheat from the chaff: 1. Follow your passion Let’s be honest, this is one of the trendy cliche pieces of advice you will get or even give to a friend or colleague. It goes something like this, “Find your passion and you don’t have to work a day in your life.” It’s true that most …

How High Is Your Bar?

Given the opportunity to do something how do you approach it? My son came home from school complaining about a ‘stupid rule’ his school recently established. After hearing the rule, I agreed that for a child like my son, the rule was stupid. However, I explained to him that the rule was enacted because they had to create a bar. A bar is a minimum standard of acceptance. This bar (which is set very low), is a bar that a lot of the students will use as their maximum code of behavior. Think of an elementary school child told to read 15 minutes a day. The ones that need it the most will start getting antsy ten minutes into their …